Writing Advice from Ship Breaker

If there were a word to describe ShipBreaker, it would be unique. Whether that's a good or a bad thing is truly dependent upon the reader. I've talked to two friends about this book, both of whom have read it front to back, and they've both told me the same thing—Ship Breaker lacks plot. This I could argue with. The plot is what makes it unique, for better or for worse. I can't decide which. Beyond that, however, most of the characters are flat.

And, yet, both I and my friends finished the book with positive feelings towards it.

There is one aspect about Ship Breaker that makes it beyond worth reading. Especially for writers, who can learn plenty by studying basically every page in this book. For example,

All around, the duct pinged and creaked. It sank slightly, tilting. The whole thing was on the verge of collapse. Nailer's frantic activity and extra weight had weakened it.Nailer spread out his weight and lay still, heart pounding. Trying to sense the duct's intentions. The metal went quiet. Nailer waited, listening. Finally, he eased forward, delicately shifting his weight.Metal shrieked. The duct dropped from under him.

Look at this writing. Study it. Can't you just hear the “metal shriek[ing]” in your ears? Observe the rise and fall of action in simply this little piece, the choppiness of “the metal went quiet” to have a brief break from the action, then the longer, calmer sentence of “Finally, he eased forward, delicately shifting his weight.” Observe how an adverb, “delicately,” slows things down. Again, we see the adverb “slightly,” also used during a situation of calming state. Of course, most of us probably know that “adverb” is a banned word in the land of Writing, however, Bacigaupi uses them to his own advantage.

That's the first thing we can learn from Ship Breaker: Adverbs can be used as a tool for us to slow down writing amidst heavier action.

Observe, also, the verbs he uses. Within this passage, the verbs used are: pinged, creaked, sank, tilting, was, (had) weakened, spread, lay, pounding, trying, went, waited, listening, eased, shifting, shrieked, and dropped. Go on, through that list, and find for me the verb that repeats itself. Haven't found it? Look harder. Still haven't found it?

There's a reason for that. Not a single one repeats. Wanna know more? I went and took an excerpt of 250 words. Then, I went through and marked every verb within the text.

Thirty-four verbs. Twenty-five different verbs. The only verbs he repeated was was four times, had two times, and did three times. Go, take a page of your own writing, to give you some perspectives, and try this out. See how many unique verbs you have for that page. Verbs may come easily to you, as every writer has their weak and strong points, or you may find that you, like myself, repeated “made” four times in the last paragraph. In other words, remember to vary which verbs you use within a period of space.

Additionally, keep in mind the quality of your verbs.

Nailer clambered through a service duct, tugging at copper wire and yanking it free. Ancient asbestos fibers and mouse grit puffed up around him as the wire tore loose. He scrambled deeper into the duct, jerking more wire from its aluminium staples. The staples pinged around the cramped metal passage like coins offered to the Scavenge God, and Nailer felt after them eagerly, hunting for their dull gleam and collecting them in a leather bag he kept at his waist. He yanked again at the wiring. A meter's worth of precious copper tore loose in his hands and dust clouds enveloped him.

And...

A year later, heavy crews cut open a section of iron, and the little licebiter's mummified body had popped out like a pill from a blister pack. Dry like leaves, rattling as it hit the deck, rats chewed and desiccated.

Observe the quality of verbs used in these two excerpts (the first one comes straight from the first paragraph of the book.) Clambered, puffed, rattling, and desiccated all stick out to me. They paint the picture, because you cannot simply choose impressive verbs, but you must also choose those that set the tone and feel of your setting, scene, and story. Enveloped, for example, combined with dust clouds paints the picture in my head within few words.

That all being said, though we can learn much from the writing, the characters are highly underdeveloped. While I saw potential in Nailer's crew, they were not returned to much more than Nailer's history after the first few chapters. Nailer himself was alright. We could see a deep connection with him and the reader. It took me a while to develop emotional connection (though that may be because of his and my opposite personalites), but once I did I found myself highly invested in him. Nita, too, probably the second most main character (though it's hard to say, with the unusual plot structure, which I'll hit on soon), you could see development in her. There were a couple others who I couldn't criticize.

However, a couple stuck out to me. The feeling of cardboard came from these characters. First off, Sadna. Nailer's friend, Pima's, mother, was a sort of hero in the story. Admirable, strong, and just—but simply filler. Not enough was invested into her. She was there for the purpose she served, but not there because she was alive. The woman was there because she was needed for the plot. Of course, she had genuine emotions, a genuine personality, but it was obvious the development on her was mediocre. It was like she was a storybook character, not like she was a real person to me. And, as it is the writer's job to imitate life, I want to be unable to believe that a character does not actually exist. Additionally, I found the same feeling in minor characters. Goons like Blue Eyes and Moby, truthfully all the half-men except perhaps Tool I found a lack of life. Many characters were there only out of necessity. Not because they were real, to the readers and perhaps even to the author. Therefore, we can learn yet another thing from this book, though taken from a flaw: Your characters must not only exist because of necessity for the plot, setting, main character, etc.; they must also be alive, and living simply because they demanded to be so.

Then, that leads me to the plot.

Oh, the plot.

Oh, what shall I do with the likes of thee?

The plot is in a structure unlike anything I've ever seen before. That doesn't say much, but it's certainly unique. As I stated above, I've heard twice the plot doesn't exist. I wouldn't necessarily agree with this. While there is no traditional plot structure, it is a plot that's more similar to real life. The plot is really more a retelling of someone's life, which truthfully brings the story a little more to life, right? Nonetheless, Bacigaupi links together pieces of his plot from the past. Everything builds on each other. His character development is impressive for this reason, as situations from the past build on his decisions in the future.

(spoiler) We can cut the plot down into a few events. First, you've got your foundation. This is covered during chapter one. The story is laid out for you: Nailer's character, his life, and the kick-starter for the story—the first, initial conflict, with his competitiveness with his crewmates as well as the danger of not getting enough loot from the ship. This story is not about this first conflict. It merely kicks it off. Second phase is the struggle of him being lost in the ship, which was caused by the first initial conflict. Chapters two through four cover this. Then, five through seven cover the conflict of the storm. Now, our third “arc” of sorts is not bounced off the first conflict. So, you may be wondering why you have the first two conflicts in the first place?

The third arc covers the storm. Through this storm, a ship is brought onto the shore, where Nailer finds Nita. The entire conflict with Nita is when the story's main storyline really kicks off. Through this, he goes through struggling with what to do with her, how to respond to this, battling against his father, loyalty to his home and the struggle of having to leave it. Then, a step into a new life, where he leaves his difficulties in the old behind. So, why did we have those first two arcs?

Had Nailer never been caught in the ship, had he never almost drowned in the oil, never been abandoned by Sloth, he wouldn't have saved Nita. Easily we could have skipped this, been brought right into the storm, and I would be that one of Bacigalupi's first drafts did just this. However, I can see him reaching the point with Nita where he's stuck—Nailer is going to abandoned her, and where does that leave the story? So we see character development with Nailer. Through the first two, seemingly unrelated arcs, they're binded to the rest of the story as his character develops—influencing more than one action in his future of the book—and at the same time we get to know Nailer and his world, a little before the story even starts. A minor thing you can take from this is simply don't forget how your character develops. Look for unique ways to have decisions later in the book influenced by previous scenes. Have your scenes build on each other, so that without the one before, the next scene would be different.

You can learn a lot from studying just one book. This book definitely has its flaws, but it also has things done brilliantly, and you can learn from both parts of the book. That being said, I highly recommend the read. I've never read a book that pulled me into the setting so much. If you were to read it for anything at all, it would be that. So, if you've read Ship Breaker, what's your review on it? What would you change if you could? How do you feel about the things listed here in your own writing? Debating is encouraged. Commenting even more encouraged. Thanks for reading!